It doesn’t feel like my time is up yet. It doesn’t feel like
I should be packing my bags. It doesn’t feel like I need to start thinking
about saying goodbye to all of the people I’ve met here. It doesn’t feel like
in just a couple weeks, my life will change again - I’ll have to once again
make the transition back to life in the States, to life in South Dakota. Don’t
get me wrong, I’m excited about returning. I’m excited to see what this next
year will hold. These past few months I’ve been in a constant dialogue with the
Lord on what I should be doing next…. The verdict? I’m to return to Sioux Falls
for at least a year. I’m to continue in my German language studies. And I’m to find a
way to use art as a ministry and communication tool. Beyond that, I really
don’t have many clear answers.
For the past five years, I haven’t spent more than four
months in one consistent location. It’s been a very transient lifestyle, not
holding on very tightly to any possessions or long-term plans. I was switching
back and forth mostly between South Dakota and Indiana with chunks of time
spent in Italy, Mozambique/South Africa, Australia, New Zealand, and now
Germany. The prospect of staying in one location for at least a year is a
little bit daunting to me right now. I’m not quite sure what that will feel
like, but I know it’s time to sink my roots in a bit further for once. I know
that this season in Germany is coming to a close and a new one is just
beginning…
You’re probably wondering if I feel called to pursue
overseas ministry long-term after this experience. The short answer – Yes. Very
much so. I don’t know when it will happen or how it will happen or what the
Lord will actually call me to, but I do know that my time in Germany is not yet
over. I feel a very clear leading to continue to learn as much of this language
as I possibly can in preparation and anticipation of returning. And I also know
that if I want to actually make an impact in the lives of those living here, I
need to know how to communicate in their language.
Let me tell you a story that’s very close to my heart right
now…
During my time in Köln, I made a new friend. Let’s just call
him Joe. Joe is about my age and speaks English fairly well; however, communication
was still a struggle. He is not a Christian because he sees no relevancy in it.
In all honesty, I strongly believe that I was the first real, authentic
Christian he’s met. We had a few conversations about religion and about what
I’m doing here in Germany - he was so intrigued that I would work for a company that doesn't really pay me (which deepened the conversation even more). During that time, I was able to share a little bit
about why I follow Christ and the freedom and joy that a life surrendered to
Him brings. Even though the Holy Spirit was definitely there in that moment, I
would have given anything to be able to communicate with him in the language he
understands best.
Many Europeans have a similar story to Joe’s. They don’t
know. They just don’t know what a life surrendered to Christ actually looks
like. Many of them have never come in contact with an authentic follower of
Christ before. One of the main reasons Joe doesn’t really care about religion
is because of the contradictions he’s seen in the church – he told me that he
has a few friends who “go” to church (by that he meant once a year on Christmas
Eve). They usually drink before they go and get drunk after the service. Being
a Christian here is just something to write down on
paper under the “religion” section. It’s not a lifestyle. It has no merit. It
has no meaning, It’s just a word. I would fly across the ocean again just to
have one more authentic conversation with Joe. Oh, how I wish I could have
taken him to the German Church I’ve been attending. How I wish I could have
spent more time getting to know him, hearing his story. How I wish I could have
had a better opportunity to show him just how awesome it is to be a child of
God. And I wish I could have shared Christ’s love with him in his own language.
Perhaps one day the Lord will give me that chance. Until then, language studies
will be a part of my life.
I don’t know what will bring me back to this country. I
don’t know when I’ll be returning. I don’t know if it will be working with
GemStone Media, another missions organization, or if I’m called to be a
tent-maker – to live and work here just like any other European (but
with the intention of investing in the lives around me in such a way that
saturates everything I do with the sweet fragrance of Christ).
Auf Wiedersehen, Deutschland (“until we see each other again”).
I will miss you.
